Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Be kind, be happy

Story 1

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room's only window.The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.
The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation..

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.
The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and colour of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.
Although the other man could not hear the band - he could see it in his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.
She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.
Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window besides the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.
The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, 'Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.'

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things
you have that money can't buy.

Story 2

An old man saw a scorpion drowning and decided to pull it out from the water. He calmly extended his hand to reach the creature. 

When he did, the scorpion stung him. With the effect of the pain, the old man let go the creature and it fell back into the water. The man realizing that the scorpion was drowning again, got back and tried to rescue it but then again it stung him. He let go of it again.

A young boy standing by, approached the old man and said, “Excuse me Sir, you are going to hurt yourself trying to save the evil-vicious creature, why do you insist? Don't you realize that each time you try to help the scorpion, it stings you?”

The man replied, “The nature of the scorpion is to sting and mine is to help. My nature will not change in helping the scorpion.”

So the man thought for a while and used a leaf from a nearby tree and pulled the scorpion out from the water and saved its life.


Do not change your nature. If someone hurts you, just take precautions. Some pursue happiness while others create it. Let your conscience be your guide in whatever you do.

Source : Facebook page Learning Petals & The Idealist

How many of us when encounter a difficult situation will constantly give warmness and smile to other people just like the man in first story? Or maybe, how many of us after being betrayed, hurt or broke by someone still stand with the value of trust just like the old man in second story ? True, it's rare to find this kind of person, maybe it's a time for us to be one. It's not something extraordinary which impossible to apply within our live. By changing our level of thinking, it perhaps will enable us to achieve this kind of personality. 

I would like to take the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey as reference to explain what I think about the men in the story. This is the continuation from the entry We Have Power to Select Our Response

Covey mentioned that the approach of this habit is in harmony with the natural laws of growth, we each begin life as an infant, totally depend on other, then gradually we become independent to take care of ourselves. Our growth from infancy to adulthood is in accordance with natural law, and there's many dimensions to growth. Reaching our full physical maturity doesn't necessarily assure us of simultaneous emotional or mental maturity. On this maturity continuum, the difference between dependence, independence, and interdependence is define as above :

Dependent - you take care of me
physically - paralyzed or disabled or limited in some physical way, I would you to help me.
Emotionally - My sense of worth and security would come from your opinion of me. If you didn't like me, it                        could be devastating.
Intellectual - I would count on you to do my thinking for me, to think through issues and problems of my life.

Independent - I can do it
physically - I can make it on my own 
Emotionally - I would be validated from within. I would be inner directed. My sense of worth would not be a                      function of being liked or treated well.
Intellectual - I could think my own thought. I could move from one level of abstraction to another. I could                         think creatively and analytically and organize and express my thought in understandable way.

Interdependent - we can do it
Physically - I am self-reliant and capable, but I also realize that you and I working together can accomplish                      far more than I am alone.
Emotionally - I derive a great sense of of worth within myself, but I also recognize the need for love, for                               giving, and for receiving love from others.
Intellectual - I realize that I need the best thinking of other people to join with my own.

Interdependent is a choice only independent people can make. Dependent people cannot choose to become interdependent. They don't have character to do it.

The men in the story is perhaps an emotionally independent person that make them capable to be emotionally interdependent, it would be impossible for them to cherish others if they doesn't have a sense of worth within themselves. They emotion is not derived from situation or how other people treat them, instead, they have their own value and consciousness which give out the positive attitude regardless of the situation.

"You can't jump into effective relationship without the maturity. the strength of character to maintain them" - Covey

Don't allow your wounds to turn you into a person you are not. As what my favorite song, kanashimi wo yasashisani (Naruto theme song) said, " Turn your sadness into kindness and your strength into your uniqueness ".